“Blessed are the forgetful, for they get the better even of their blunders.”


Once, upon a time there was a girl....




She was just a fucked up girl looking for her own piece of mind, she’s not perfect. She had years of people telling her that. The commonality that they have is that they both recognize that one of them will walk out from one another because they will get bored with one another and feel trapped, or maybe because that's what have happened to both of them in the past thus leading to the possibility that is basically just what will always happen to them – or in relationships.

She said, “I fell in love. Not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I'm sure that's what you would call it. You are the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. I love you, very simple, very truly. I’ve never felt this way before, and I don’t care. I do not doubt that I am in love with you. I’m not with you because of what family, society, life tried to instill in me from day one. I grew up never having any f**king example of male- female relationship and I got hurt in past so many times until one cut herself from finding anyone. So I’ve been around – and I don’t fucking regret it, some were good and some were bad – and then I come across you. How seldom it is that you meet that one person who just gets you- its so rare. So here we are. I was thorough when I looked for you. And I feel justified lying in your arms, 'cause I got here on my own terms, and I have no question there was some place I didn't look – because I’ve been in different arms- and I choose you. And for me that makes all the difference. “ She said it all, although it was too late, although he wasn’t even listening to a single word she said. To him none of this makes sense.

He felt small, insignificant and emasculated. He thinks he’ll never be on her level – never be enough for her or something. What he didn’t get was that she didn’t care. She wasn’t looking for that guy, she was looking for him. Her fear is that by the time he realizes this, it will be too late. And all that he had to show was some foolish pride that gave way to regret. She was the girl for him, he’ll know it then, but he pushed her away. And so ends her fairytale. xoxo Rollo Tomassi

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LOSING THAT ARGUMENT WITH YOURSELF


Flipping through channels and staring at what we call the-idiot-box, I came across The HOLIDAY. The quote went through my head over and over again. Why do we keep letting ourself fall in love with the wrong person..

Because you're hoping you're wrong. And every time she does something that tells you she's no good, you ignore it. And every time she comes through and surprises you, she wins you over, and you lose that argument with yourself, that she's not for you. ~ “ Iris; The Holiday” 2006

However, knowing this doesn’t help make things any easier. Knowing what you know doesn’t help you push yourself away from it. It just helps you explain to other people why you do what you do. While you lay staring at the wall thinking “ I’m so pathetic… I’m such an idiot.” Then the argument tore you up inside while you keep telling yourself, this is the right time to pack up and go and you repeat again and again - " this is never going to work out"
Then the moment your foot is halfway out the door he pulls you back in and make you fall back harder for that ridiculously cute smile and hating yourself more.
xoxo
Rollo Tomassi

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Multiply and Divide...


Another break up, another person gets hurt, another depressing moment. Gets me questioning everything.

He loved her, with all his heart. I have never seen a man trying so hard to make it work. He was going to propose in a month's time. He had the perfect idea of how it was going to be. Underneath the fireworks, when he pops the question with the violin playing at the back. She loved him as far as I know. She was with him through thick and thin. She stayed with him for 5 years, she fell in love with his family. It should have never even been, because by the end of the day she will need to choose between her love and her family. Sounds like another mundane love movie right. Except, its real.


He came back from work happy, not knowing of what lies waiting in his room. She told him gently and he saw all her packed bags. He yelled and scream and throw everything because he didn't know how to react.
He carried her bag downstairs. He pulled her gently by the hand. She cried as he stood there, holding her. I stood there watching the scene playing, while he said goodbye to her. As she cries on his shoulder. She had to do what she had to do...

Why does it have to be this way? Why do we have to choose? Why can't people just be?

Why is it that religion has to break people apart? I know I am wrong to question this and I am biased to say this because I have my own ulterior motives. But a girl can’t help but question … why is it that Jew has to marry Jew and Muslim has to marry Muslim? In that sense, we have to only date from our own people? Why can’t people just be because of love. Why do we have to choose. Why do it has to be exclusive rights, u leave or you convert into something you don't believe just to be together. Why do people have to marry the same kind, like cheetahs can never be with a tiger? Why does it have to be this way? One day I have to make the same choices that she makes. Leave because I have to, I just hope he f*cks up before that, so I wouldn’t feel like I’m making a mistake.

Why does it have to divide people? Why is it wrong for me to question? I am so tired. I can’t believe I had to see him hurt again. I can’t believe she has to leave because of it.

The fact that she left, makes me wonder how long more will I chase what I desire and when will I grow up to realize that I shouldn’t be with you. I am not getting any younger, but I can’t let you go. Why do I have to give you up, the one thing that can make me cry my heart out and make me laugh and smile by just saying hello, for something else that is uncertain.
xoxo
Rollo Tomassi

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Invite jealousy over for dinner and get acquainted


Can you cope with his ex?


Between 21-30

It’s clear that you have a very mature outlook towards your man’s ex, but this attitude can at times make you seem a little aloof and uncaring. Showing a slight flash of jealously occasionally will keep your relationship sparkling and let your boyfriend know how much you care.


Take the quiz at CloveTWO!

So here it is... from a test..

I am emotionally numb.. even in the virtual world.

Sigh

Its not that I don’t care, I do. I am killing myself inside, wishing that it would unleash and jump out screaming and kicking like bruce lee.. But instead, on the surface, I smile and say little sarcastic remarks.

It’s hopeless. And you think I don’t care.. I do.. maybe I am just afraid to show that I do care.

xoxo

Rollo Tomassi

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chase what you can't catch


Should I be scared? I am chasing a dream that is way too unrealistic. I know you are going to hurt me, but I cannot stop myself.

You treat me like a princess. You treat me like a whore.

You asked why I always f**k up? Because I am afraid that if I don’t put you down, you will realize how amazing you are and leave me.
I’m f**king in love. This is going to be ugly.
xoxo
Rollo Tomassi

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Smother me while I'm asleep


I’m smitten. I can’t believe I’m here again.

We argue and we make up.. I know its never going to last. But right now, let me just enjoy this for a while.

We are both flawed without a doubt. We are both so different that it is not even funny that we bumped randomly.

From far away you actually make me happy. You are the first person to make me feel beautiful.

I’m sorry I made you cry last night.

xoxo
Rollo Tomassi

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Everybody wants to marinate in your misery and jump with joy at your failure


It is common knowledge, if you stayed here long enough to rot, you would know this.
Misery loves company… and we crave in others misery. It’s disturbing.
He is right – It makes you wonder why should we even bother. They yearn for the drama, they are not happy when you succeed, it makes them feel pathetic, but when you fall… they jump with joy and pretend to care to get every detail. This human nature is as sick as zoophiles. Makes you feel like you are dying on choking on your own vomit just thinking about it.
Their eyes glisten- not with tears, you idiots- but an evil shine that looks like a diamond that would decay on the fact that you have lost all your money. They listen close - "pretending to care so that they can get every detail and will tell the world that you screw up". It’s a sick thing to do.. but at least half of the malay population here live their lives and wake up every morning using this as their drive. xoxo Rollo Tomassi

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Even cat food looks tempting right now..

Work is staring at me in face.
He’s right and so are they. I have mood swings. Lazy ass ma f**ka. I have nothing meaningful to say. He doesn't either. I’m hungry and unable to function. Can’t wait for 3 more weeks. Then I don’t need to function. I just unwind.

xoxo
Rollo Tomassi

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Wish I could Bleach of Your Anger, the same way You Bleach of Your Hair

Life’s too short to be pissed off all the time – American History X.

I wish she had watched that movie. If she has, I wished she had paid attention to the last words in that movie. Maybe then, she wouldn’t be so toxic that her hair went blonder (that’s the word lah!) last night. Her anger -her ears fuming that she could not even hear me apologizing or trying to tell her in polite and pleasant manner to conceal and blemish my sarcasm that wanted to jump out and make a guest appearance like on Jay Leno show. It could either be anger or she's no longer snorting drugs but putting in her ears.

She is a pathetic excuse for a person, and what made it sad, is that she has too much pride and ego to realize it. She’s such a gold digger that her head have turned to look like the ugliest color of gold. Look closer, it’s actually the color of rust that looks just like end of a broom that the witches use as a cushion for their ass.
You lie and you cheat, hey no wrong doing in that, just own up for your own mistakes instead of putting others to blame. Sheesh.

xoxo
Rollo Tomassi

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Store that anger at 80mph




Malicious. Toxic. Irreparable.
People can define you, but they might not be right. It can also be, this is how you portray yourself to the world.

Time out…

She’s right. Read the news. It’s the number one selling page-turner today. Reminding you, life is so much more than what you go through. Ignore the toxic smell of print and the glaring eye blinding TV set. You can now channel your anger not at him – but at that scum of person who stuffed veggie’s in that 8 year old girl’s private parts.

Stare blankly for a moment…

It helps you put things in a perspective for a while. It kills time and let you go through the day. Zone out for a second. You might actually need it. Everything is moving at a supersonic range of speed. Watch for a second how life can pass you by.

Breathe …

Life can be overwhelming sometimes. As long as you remember what matters most to you.

Smile …

Despite all the drama and routine. You might get that magical moment. The first-kiss. A stranger who holds your attention with a scintillating conversation that you’ll remember for the next 3 months. That exact moment when your hands get sweaty, your hearts racing through time and your head just gets heavy (in other words, you’re horny and he’s hot).

xoxo
Rollo Tomassi

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Just 2 miles from the rest stop, but i rather stop here in the desolated side of the road

Behind this screen and clicking noise of the keyboard she hides. A pathetic mouse. A vision of cowardice that can make you wanna hurl and vomit. Yes, that’s me.. In between cubicles... lost typing her thoughts or in the car cruising around despite the petrol hike, cynical and wishing she was stoned.

So many random thoughts, so much work to finish. Yet what is she doing? Switching from her blog to her e-mail. Setting her chair low, so no one would see her, only hear her grumbling tummy getting hungry.

So here’s my thought on you, baby!

I hate the fact everything is about you. I hate the fact that I have to play games just to keep you. Can’t we just be? Wait I’m tired.. can you just let me be.

Every single detail is about you. When you want to talk, when you want to get emotional, when you are in the mood, when you get f**ked up. I am a frigging passenger and this is the exact moment where your driving is at its extreme recklessness and I want to open the door, hurl and vomit every single emotion. Glance at you and say, this is my stop dude, bugger off.

F**k that you’ve been hurt! - so have I, but if you weren't soooo self conceited and narcissistic, you might notice that. So you met someone nice? Go for it. Why hold on to something that by the end of the day it only goes round in circle. The end is inevitable. You are just so afraid that I would desert and deceit you, so I want to give you the benefit of getting bored of me. So that you can keep your self-fulfilling, only child syndrome, I- want-to-prove-to-the-world ego intact. I’m not stupid, I pretend to be so that I can watch how you play around with all this and still get away not looking like a train wreck. See baby, what you don’t know is - playing the victim is easy. You want me when I’m holding the doorknob. You miss me when I’m looking at others. You are defensive and jealous, cause you don’t want to look like a fool. You know what F**K YOU.

But by the end of the day, when u call, I keep quiet. I will laugh at something silly you say and keep my voice to the way you like it. Why? Coz again, I'm a f**king coward hiding behind her the screen.

xoxo
Rollo Tomassi

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Dysfunction between you and me





Eyes open, I stared at my phones. Saw the time, sh** I’m late. F**k, still nothing from you.








I look at the clock, it moves slowly. Even a minute hasn’t passed.








I stared at the screen its blank to me. I searched frantically through my mails, I delusion myself that your name was in my inbox. And then I saw his message. I reminisce. My decision, my mistake - glaring back at me. I would have been happy with him. In theory – he was perfect for me. In reality I choose you.















I agree with what she says, life gets like a routine. Compulsive obsessive routine. Today, I want to break out of mine. Cause you have been my routine.















Its pathetic how you consume my every thought, and yet I feel like I have hit the ground, smash faced. No longer falling, but on the ground I hold on to you. Feeble. Pathetic. Moronic.





I should have a diary, of your f**king desideratum. And it goes it little something like this

Friday – Drive me crazy. We fantasize. You miss me.
Saturday – You were jealous. You call me cocky. You are crazy about me.
Sunday – You said you’d call; yet here’s to another party. Hello coke!
Monday – I thought something bad happened. No words from you.
Tuesday – You made me delusional. You told me you are okay. You want to see me again. You miss me.
Wednesday – You met someone. YOU want to talk. I just don’t care. You got weird. You ask questions. Your phone got f**ked. You told me lets be ignorant. You think it’s meaningless without obsessing.

With your every worthless word, we get further away. This distance is not helping.
It’s easy to see, how dysfunctional we are. What’s more f**ked up is that I consume this. Misbehaving makes me feel like we are both in the ditch.

TODAY – You are in my blacklist. I’m done. I’m so over you. At least for today .


WISH I COULD SAY THE WORDS I WANT TO SAY TO YOU.


xoxo

ROLLO TOMASSI

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Take a bucket full of cynism, love and romantic trauma.. put it in the oven for ten minutes and you'll get me

Stare at the wall. Pretend to be deaf. Pretend not to care.

But f**k this s**t. I do.

I don’t want to get married. Wait let me rephrase that. I don’t want to get married just yet. And if I don’t – ever, my life is not about that! But when she looked at me like that, and thought the way she raised us was wrong, when she thought she’s a bad mother. That broke my heart.

Now do I have to say goodbye to him?? Or do I still play high school.

xoxo
Rollo Tomassi

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oily is goooood

Price of oil will be increased again because Petronas is not able to sustain subsidies, since they have been paying close to RM50billion for the past 10 years..

Sigh.. right now.. I wish somebody would start subsidizing me. 1.3 Satria Neo fuel consumption is really biting me in the ass. I filled up 70ringers Full Tank on Friday, and today I’m left with a halfie

NO MORE LATE NIGHT CRUISING

Soon enough I should hold up a gas station not for the cash, but for the gas…

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smoking a pack a day, drank the whole bottle of cough med and vanilla coke, and still up awake

Tomorrow is the first day of Ramadhan. I need to wake up in 3 hours time, and start cracking on my 4 new proposal that I have asked my boss to pass over to me and have sahur with the family.

My head is beginning to spin from the cough med. I hate cough med, this is the only way to take it to clear my coughs, down it like a tequila shot, drink lots of coke and smoke, This is the only way I cope.

I saw a Proton Saga just now, I panicked. Why am I still avoiding my ex? I just installed call manager and blacklist on both my n series phone. And he is blacklisted in both my phones. I don’t want to know that he no longer thinks I am the only one for him. Why? Is this normal?

I can never be in love, why bother? Its just hormones and fear of being alone. xoxo Rollo Tomassi

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If silence could kill… I’ll be a burn victim every time we talk

Exchange of fighting words is a crucial art of survival to some. When we are hurt, we just want to hurt the other as well. Is it a defense mechanism.. To hurt another then to be hurt. To mask our anger and pain, we inflict the pain unto others. When did we stop just making fun of ourselves? When did we stopped enjoying falling down and hurting ourselves silly (wait, did we ever do that?)

Cry like as if your heart was ripped apart from its roots and thrown on the side of the street. Laugh harder than ever like a hyena as if the master tickler who looks like a stand up comedian draws his nose out of a joke has tickled you silly. Stop trying to sit properly, because it is a just a mental image of a culture within a certain environment that thought us what’s right and what’s wrong.

Can you slap me silly, scream the hell out rather than be silent on the line of the phone. It bugs every inch of my nerves like a blowfish dust was spread all over my skin. Make me numb. It is painful; I writhe in every pause and silence you make.

Gosh, don’t call me just because.. Call me when you want to, not because you are obliged to as you clear your throat on the other line rummaging through your head to find something to say. Disgust me.

Why is it an uncomfortable silence? We call it an awkward moment. Why do we feel the need to say something to make the company bearable – or in other words comfortable… Why the need to crap, when we can hear our own thoughts.

Just because... Sheesh.. F*** you for that.


xoxo
Rollo Tomassi

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Worms Wiggling.. Wonderful Weather.. Whip Washable..



Virus is spreading all around. In close proximity I can hear my colleague cough the living hell out of her… like she was diagnosed with lung cancer. Every breath that inhale feel contaminated. My head suddenly feel heavy and my body temperature feels like its boiling up. This is a hypochondriac condition, or I just need a sick a day.

I’m awaiting the news of how much bonus they are going to give us for it’s the company’s anniversary. Sigh. This can help me clear a quarter portion of my credit card debts. You gotta make money to pay back the money you don’t own!

This virus is taking a toll on me. I just took Osana, Vit C and multivitamins but I don’t feel any better. Never could I imagine taking so many pills, even without docs prescribing it to me. Since I’m scared of the living daylight to go for a medical checkup, this would do for right now.

Sun is peeking through blinds. I should go out. Its too cold in the office, and this shame of an elephant daughter is still coughing her life away. Besides, the constant click of this keyboard is gaining attention.


xoxo
Rollo Tomassi

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A long weekend, a hangover and a missed call….

This entry is definitely jumbled up. So bear with me…

If working days was actually 4 days a week. Would we be happy? Would it be enough days for us to recuperate after a week of labouring/whoring ourselves to our work? Would we finally be efficient and competent to face the challenges that we face during 9-5? Why are we Malaysians are so obsessed about our work, that we live to work, not work to live. We are drones. However, without much of this, I would have not appreciated the 3 days weekend break that we just had.
Although that Thursday, after the grand finale event, I ended up sleeping like a dead baby till the celebration of 50th Merdeka was over, at least I know what independence means to me. It meant “ I could bloody h**l sleep, even with loud bangs of the firework, I am not hiding under the bed thinking it’s a bomb!” Either way, being 25, you just lost the willpower to fight through the crowd and jam-packed areas, lining up to enter a party.

Fast-forward it, the next thing I know, it was Sunday all over again. Woke up regretting the game of “ Never Have I ever…(If it wasn’t for that game, I would not be stuck with a headache and a huge appetite for Briyani Gam the next day). I end up cruising around Klang Valley without a smile and thinking I should get a life with the constant thought in my head -I know he is punishing me because I didn’t picked up the damn phone (again, another moment to blame on that game).
So, I end up tossing on turning on the bed, exposing my vulnerable self to him again at 2 in the morning, while he hung up the phone still convinced that I cheated on him. Just because I have big t*t**s, I am labeled for life (okay, fine, truth was I was out with another guy for 2 months while we were going out and he found out about it 3 months ago – but then again, during that time, I didn’t know we were actually together. :P). I never had been in a relationship when someone actually believes that I did spend the night alone, drunk and horny. Stumbled on my heels, threw my bag away, slept under the blanket, drooling with only my panties on.
So.

Why the f**k does it hurt so much over those things he said. And why the f**k, I keep forgetting that I am pissed at him instead of cursing when I hung up, and when he called it all disappears. When did I master the art to lie bury something painful till I completely erase it from my memory. F**k. Or without realizing, without even fighting, the culture of Malay/ Asian women of swallowing our own bitter pain is just encoded into my f**king DNA. God, we are so tragic!

Anyhow, here I am again. After a great weekend of rest, food and partying with substance, what am I left with. A migraine and dry cough, a boyfriend who is miles away - now convinced that I am screwing somebody else, panda looking eyes-even without eyeliner, and looking like crap in the office today. Don’t we just have it all…

xoxo
Rollo Tomassi

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Why I sing my lullaby, Why apples turn rotten


These are the moments in life that leaves you stumped. Moment that you wish would never come. I stared at screen, out of words, ran out of the will to bullshit anymore. First comes the appraisal schedule, now excel document that it is a compulsory for me to fill. First questions – what is your biggest achievement for this year?

I stared at my answer last year, I let out a smirk. Interesting how you can lie with a smile and how much I can kiss ass. What should I write? The truth is – nothing. I haven’t accomplished anything for the company. At least nothing that can be considered as an triumph to the company. I have not contributed any major revenue. For goodness sakes, I fail every attempt of selling. Or even at anything that I dare take credit for. To be honest I felt like saying scoring with a Romanian senior auditor who travels around the world, that allows me and give me a reason to travel to NYC, Amsterdam, Paris and Thailand. To walk in the streets of NYC and have a hot CEO approach me to call him up. Ahaks… can I put that in, as a vanity complex to boost my self esteem.

I scrolled to one question after another. Why do they insist on doing this, when they know we will lie through it like how we lied through our job interviews, and resumes. Goals for the year, your view of your immediate bosses and the list of questions goes on and on. Exasperating your will to lie with every hit of each alphabet on the keyboard. Hopeless.

I am dreading the date – September 17….. Where in that small room, 2 dismal ladies will witness me lying through every breath that I could muster. While they pretend to care.

xoxo

Rollo Tomassi


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See Crystal Ball, Breathe Silver Air


Everything comes to an end. Life, marriage, grief, work, love, relationship, happy moments, college days.. everything that counts as an experience would close its curtains on you.
My cousin came over to my place last night and shared my bed. She got married while we were still in studying in University. I can’t recall how old we were then, but it should be at the end of our teens or at early 20’s. Now; she’s 25, unemployed and filing for divorce (contributing to my fear of marriage). We stayed over talking about everything else, work, travel and anything that doesn’t mentioned the word divorce. Life can be overwhelming at times, as long as you keep yourself grounded and busy I guess. Here’s a cliché “What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger”. No…. what doesn’t kill you will make you fall hard and to keep on falling till you reach precipice, to a lonely place, where you decide to never get up again. Or you keep on dying till you finally found a better place where you find yourself refusing to wake up. But if you are strong enough, you go to this isolated place and you play pretend in front of others till one day, you believe your own pretense. The façade becomes reality, and soon enough you let it go. I hope she'll get a break and the ochestra would start playing a different tune for her.
As for me, I will not suppress my desire; I will not limit my imagination, for I am 25 and free from anything that can bound me. I can get crushed, and bounce back.. I can be stupid and be forgiven. I can find out that a pebble can cause ripples in pond, and still find that ripples fascinating (thus throw more pebbles in it). I do not regret my life’s choices. I do not regret where I stand, though to some it looks like I have nothing. But to me, I have enough to keep a smile plastered on my face and nothing to hold me back. I don’t weigh this moment with a future of dreams that are no longer there.
xoxo
Rollo Tomassi

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There's a million miles to go to where happiness lives.

To some people, there might see me as someone dark, gloomy and depressive. Maybe its just the trend, and the fact that happy shiny people is no longer the in thing in fashion. Look at around you, My Chemical Romance is being a hit among teens, and all of a sudden emocore and emowhatsover is also very much within definitely on the top lists, selling records.

My size 28 auditor is always asking whether I am happy and keep pushing it.. “I just want to make you happy, baby.” Do I look like a walking corpse ? Just because I like songs that its lyrics seems to be a reflection of emotional empathy and heartrending in its vulnerability, doesn’t mean I’m suicidal. To be honest, I’m content with what life has offered, I am not having a grudge against everything that is being pushed at me and screaming.“O dear God! Woe is me.” But all I’m saying is I have better days.. and on certain days, I’m just venting out. I just don’t advertise I’m happy, and when I have a bad day, I want to talk about it. Heck, who wants to know about your perfect life or perfect days. Again, Happy Shiny People are a thing of a past- pale, suicidal and depressed are in. Heck look at TV Shows, there’s more drama than comedy nowadays.

Why am I content with having practically nothing certain in my life? Just be like a kid. Take one day at a time, and be happy with simple gestures. Remember when we were kids, how getting a candy means the world but as you grow up, your candy seems harder to achieve. Things that you want get more complicated and tougher to achieve. You set higher goals, you want it all. You want your dream job that drives you, which pays you a 5 figure salary a month, look like the models in those fashion spread, at the same time cuddle home with the perfect ideal mate and own all the material things that its ads screams “cost you a year’s salary, but will give you the happiness you are craving for and respect that you desire”. How can an adult achieve happiness, when what we want will sacrifice another dream, in other words, “what you want is what you’ll never get”. And heck, I'll stick to what Watai says, " I'm too young to worry".
xoxo
Rollo Tomassi

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whats left to say

I’m 25 years old. Scared shitless at the idea of being somebody’s wife and dislike kids in public. “Constantly choosing a partner who I just want to fix but not to own” (derived from duddits theory, my theory sounded even worse), and only want to have a happy ending because everyone else has it, in other words, I have to conform sooner or later because of how society embraces it.

Guys look at me because of my tits, and girls look at me because of the same reason as well. Though not because its a pretty sight, because they are curious. Gravity has taken a toll on it.


In a nutshell, I’m pretty content with my life. (I have RM4.90 in my account, owes nearly 60k in loans, around 5k in cards and I have an addiction on ciggs that are getting increasingly expensive, I live with my mother, and at the moment, using her car as a mode of transportation... sigh what do i have to be actually be content). During PMS, I am just a drama queen, who couldn’t derive from any form of appreciation and satisfaction. I find myself mopping at how pathetic my life is and on normal days, I’ll be either watching DVD or out with people telling them life is not complicated, we make it complicated. On ordinary days, (this is pathetic) I get happy being able to even watch StarWorld on Thursday (30 Rock, How I met Your Mother, My Name is Earl, hell yeah!!!) On other sad pathetic days, I stay in the office till late, even though my work is easily finished within 2 minutes, not because I’m a perfectionist, but because I have no where to go.

I’ve been in and out of abusive relationship, heartbroken and god yes I’m riding that bike again. According to some Internet evaluation I am so compulsive about achievement that I will never be able to rest in a relationship unless there is some success in my career (HOGWASH, a bunch of BS), I am a dominant partner because I fear being controlled or I would manipulate my partner through guilt (well aren’t all girls like that??), and I form relationship easily but have difficulty sustaining them (well.. most Librans are like this, wouldn’t you agree, all you charming, party animal, attention getting, drama queen October babies. Err... we also have ADD) How did telling them my date of birth and where I live get them to BS so much, huh?

So yeah.. thats as much as I can write on my working hours.

xoxo


Rollo Tomassi

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