Last night I gasp for air. Thoughts of you invaded my sleepless nights.
I couldn’t believe how naïve I was.
How could I not see the pattern how you used me to hide your faults?
Toss and turned, I gasp again.
Why was I so blind?
But what intrigued me is.. why are u still in my thoughts.
xoxo
Rollo Tomassi on her hang ups
It’s Friday. It could have been any other day, but its Friday. It started like any other day. The constant mind numbing routine. I woke up. Lay out my clothes to match my new pair of silver adorable heels. Stuck in a jam, singing to same depressing vulnerable song- to keep reminding me how empty I feel. Yesterday, someone call, while I was asleep. I wish it were you. I surprise myself with how I sound like in the morning – when I thought it was u. I sounded the same way when I talk to you. I miss that.
Had my breakfast with the same bunch. Only difference, she joined me for breakfast. Talked about the same cock and bull story that never leads to a conclusion. I sat in my cubicle, open my facebook. And there it was, your picture with your best friend, wearing the blue t-shirt that I bought for you in EXPRESS. Heart leaped and crashed. I am not ready.
I can’t describe it. I could feel it again. I was on the phone and I couldn’t concentrate. I couldn’t breathe. One damn lousy picture of you and I remember your smirk. I remember you saying, “I don’t love you anymore.” I remember…
The other line went on and on about work and office gossip. Warning me, to watch what I say, but it all falls on deaf ears. Painful memories come running in. I want to hide, I want to be numb and OD on painkillers. Be dead for days so that this pain can be bearable. It hurts again. It hurts badly all over again. Time will make it okay, I tell myself. Its not worth it, I tell myself. But the hurt you make me go through. I wish I were on a ledge somewhere.
It could be any other day. But it is Friday. You want to win. You win.
xoxo
Rollo Tomassi on 3 weeks away from you
©2009Daily Dose of BS | by TNB
