Part 1: Welcome to Malaysia

Fresh from my three years break up, first real relationship, I’m back into the single life again. That fateful night, the girls dragged me out to a club to celebrate a birthday. I wasn’t planning to go; I was actually dreading the thought. My ex kept calling asking if I was going doesn’t make it any easier. See we were at a point where this break up doesn’t seem like a break up. He doesn’t want me back, and was seeing another girl (though he denies that they are more than friends), but he doesn’t want me to see other people. What girl in their right mind, would agree to such a bad end deal, right?

So there I was, with the rest of the girls. All dressed up in my cheap halter neck dress, a plunging neckline and a fake smile. The club was packed as usual, as it was the weekends. I keep wishing I was indoors instead of in the loud blaring noise and in proximity of packed pushing bodies. Then, suddenly this cute Greek mixed with Malaysian Chinese boy started chatting me up. The girls smiled at one another and left me alone with him. He kept buying me drinks and talking about how he could sense our aura. Cheap line I must say, lucky for him, I get drunk easily and he was cute. His friend was obnoxious, taking pictures of cleavage and trying to annoy the living hell out of me. When, walking pass us was my ex, with her -“the pushing reason of our break up”.

He saw us, and he was jealous, asking the rest of my friends what was happening. Of course, they kept telling him, bugger off, since he came with her. After “The Greek” has bought me enough drinks to get me smiling like a monkey on ecstasy, my phone number and my drunken promise for lunch the next day, I made my exit and decided to spend the rest of the night with my friends. Before the night ended, my ex made his way to the VIP room and said “Be good, don’t do anything that I wouldn’t want you to do,” and kissed me goodnight. I was intoxicated and just nodded away with a smile.

As I walked down the street to go to the valet with the other two surviving girls, there he was, high as kite (which I only found out later). One of the girls stopped him, kissed his hand while her boyfriend watched and walked pass by, He smiled. Another friend of mine smiled and said in her cute shrieking voice, “Hi !” and continue to walk away. And then there was me, He smiled and said hi, and I flashed him my intoxicated smile. He started asking me, where to go to an after party, and I laughed drunkenly and said “You are three years late for that!” Then I we started talking as I found out that he was a Romanian living in New York, and not 19years old as I drunkenly assumed. He was 30 years old, and that was his last night. The next thing I know, we were kissing right there on the street (Again, I was really drunk). And by jolly goodness, that was one of the longest and most passionate kisses in my life. As corny as this sound, I was breathless. Well, then again, I smoke 1-2 pack of Marlboro’s a day. He just stared at me for a while and told me he wanted a picture of us, He took our picture, and gave me his card. And then he asked my e-mail, and ran back inside to get a pen and a piece of paper. Later, when he got my e-mail he asked me back to his place, And I smiled and said, I came with the girls, The he asked, “Will I ever see you again,”

“It’s your last night, so I guess not.” I answered and then we kissed again, and he was holding me tighter now. Right at that moment, my friends’ car honked at us, and waved me to get in. I smiled, and said, “Welcome to Malaysia. Goodbye.” and left him, with our first picture and my e-mail.

2 days later, while I was at the airport, I saw his first e-mail to me. Looking back at it again, I was actually in the airport, reading his first e-mail…. how ironic. And this is what it said,

It's me :)
I'm trying to keep it smooth so i'm not gonna say too much... just that ever since I woke up, I've been thinking about kissing you, and it makes me smile every time I do it.
This kind of chemistry is so rare that I actually thought it was extinct. Of course, it would be very nice to meet again. I have a feeling that spending time with you will be very sweet, much like last night :)
I'm sending you our picture as promised... write me back. Perhaps include your phone number :)”

And this is where this Malaysian girl fairytale begins….

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Introduction


As sang by Missy Higgins

“I was lost and I was found, but I was alive and now I've drowned.
So now I will be waiting for the world to hear my song, so they can tell me I was wrong...”

So here’s my story of a love affair, though short lived, have affected me for so long. Graciously have breathed into my world, and rocked it. As much as I want to bury it, here’s my last attempt before I do so. This is how the story begins…

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Coming down from the cloud.


The whole night we ended talking, about how in love I use to be. We ran through memory lane, on how wonderful it use to be. I wish I never had to come down from that cloud but every good thing have to come to an end. I love how it started, even if it ends badly. But I guess nothing really ends well.

So, I stared at the window. Smiled reminiscing, how happy I was. How many times in the airport I ran back to him to say goodbye. Never did I imagine that that was my last.
I still remember my first time sending him to the airport, in shorts and sports bra, I ran to him as many times as possible to say goodbye. About to close the door, and I ran over to him and kiss him all over again.

I love every memory that we had, even if it tainted knowing that he cheated on me on some. It doesn’t matter, because I remember how beautiful it was, when everything just fits and make sense. How my life use to be a fairytale. And now that I am facing reality, I can always just run to my little fairytale land. Even when the memory is slowly fading away, at least I never tainted mine the way he tainted his.

So now, I deal with it this way he always assume I was.
xoxo Rollo Tomassi

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To a certain someone..

Its been months. I wish I could get over you. You are not good for me, and I know why I lied to you, because I know it will end either way.. but nights like this. I end up listening to this on repeat.

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Another confession

I miss him.

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