Just 2 miles from the rest stop, but i rather stop here in the desolated side of the road

Thursday

Just 2 miles from the rest stop, but i rather stop here in the desolated side of the road

Behind this screen and clicking noise of the keyboard she hides. A pathetic mouse. A vision of cowardice that can make you wanna hurl and vomit. Yes, that’s me.. In between cubicles... lost typing her thoughts or in the car cruising around despite the petrol hike, cynical and wishing she was stoned.

So many random thoughts, so much work to finish. Yet what is she doing? Switching from her blog to her e-mail. Setting her chair low, so no one would see her, only hear her grumbling tummy getting hungry.

So here’s my thought on you, baby!

I hate the fact everything is about you. I hate the fact that I have to play games just to keep you. Can’t we just be? Wait I’m tired.. can you just let me be.

Every single detail is about you. When you want to talk, when you want to get emotional, when you are in the mood, when you get f**ked up. I am a frigging passenger and this is the exact moment where your driving is at its extreme recklessness and I want to open the door, hurl and vomit every single emotion. Glance at you and say, this is my stop dude, bugger off.

F**k that you’ve been hurt! - so have I, but if you weren't soooo self conceited and narcissistic, you might notice that. So you met someone nice? Go for it. Why hold on to something that by the end of the day it only goes round in circle. The end is inevitable. You are just so afraid that I would desert and deceit you, so I want to give you the benefit of getting bored of me. So that you can keep your self-fulfilling, only child syndrome, I- want-to-prove-to-the-world ego intact. I’m not stupid, I pretend to be so that I can watch how you play around with all this and still get away not looking like a train wreck. See baby, what you don’t know is - playing the victim is easy. You want me when I’m holding the doorknob. You miss me when I’m looking at others. You are defensive and jealous, cause you don’t want to look like a fool. You know what F**K YOU.

But by the end of the day, when u call, I keep quiet. I will laugh at something silly you say and keep my voice to the way you like it. Why? Coz again, I'm a f**king coward hiding behind her the screen.

xoxo
Rollo Tomassi