“Blessed are the forgetful, for they get the better even of their blunders.”


Once, upon a time there was a girl....




She was just a fucked up girl looking for her own piece of mind, she’s not perfect. She had years of people telling her that. The commonality that they have is that they both recognize that one of them will walk out from one another because they will get bored with one another and feel trapped, or maybe because that's what have happened to both of them in the past thus leading to the possibility that is basically just what will always happen to them – or in relationships.

She said, “I fell in love. Not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I'm sure that's what you would call it. You are the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. I love you, very simple, very truly. I’ve never felt this way before, and I don’t care. I do not doubt that I am in love with you. I’m not with you because of what family, society, life tried to instill in me from day one. I grew up never having any f**king example of male- female relationship and I got hurt in past so many times until one cut herself from finding anyone. So I’ve been around – and I don’t fucking regret it, some were good and some were bad – and then I come across you. How seldom it is that you meet that one person who just gets you- its so rare. So here we are. I was thorough when I looked for you. And I feel justified lying in your arms, 'cause I got here on my own terms, and I have no question there was some place I didn't look – because I’ve been in different arms- and I choose you. And for me that makes all the difference. “ She said it all, although it was too late, although he wasn’t even listening to a single word she said. To him none of this makes sense.

He felt small, insignificant and emasculated. He thinks he’ll never be on her level – never be enough for her or something. What he didn’t get was that she didn’t care. She wasn’t looking for that guy, she was looking for him. Her fear is that by the time he realizes this, it will be too late. And all that he had to show was some foolish pride that gave way to regret. She was the girl for him, he’ll know it then, but he pushed her away. And so ends her fairytale. xoxo Rollo Tomassi

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LOSING THAT ARGUMENT WITH YOURSELF


Flipping through channels and staring at what we call the-idiot-box, I came across The HOLIDAY. The quote went through my head over and over again. Why do we keep letting ourself fall in love with the wrong person..

Because you're hoping you're wrong. And every time she does something that tells you she's no good, you ignore it. And every time she comes through and surprises you, she wins you over, and you lose that argument with yourself, that she's not for you. ~ “ Iris; The Holiday” 2006

However, knowing this doesn’t help make things any easier. Knowing what you know doesn’t help you push yourself away from it. It just helps you explain to other people why you do what you do. While you lay staring at the wall thinking “ I’m so pathetic… I’m such an idiot.” Then the argument tore you up inside while you keep telling yourself, this is the right time to pack up and go and you repeat again and again - " this is never going to work out"
Then the moment your foot is halfway out the door he pulls you back in and make you fall back harder for that ridiculously cute smile and hating yourself more.
xoxo
Rollo Tomassi

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