Dysfunction between you and me

Thursday

Dysfunction between you and me

Eyes open, I stared at my phones. Saw the time, sh** I’m late. F**k, still nothing from you.








I look at the clock, it moves slowly. Even a minute hasn’t passed.








I stared at the screen its blank to me. I searched frantically through my mails, I delusion myself that your name was in my inbox. And then I saw his message. I reminisce. My decision, my mistake - glaring back at me. I would have been happy with him. In theory – he was perfect for me. In reality I choose you.















I agree with what she says, life gets like a routine. Compulsive obsessive routine. Today, I want to break out of mine. Cause you have been my routine.















Its pathetic how you consume my every thought, and yet I feel like I have hit the ground, smash faced. No longer falling, but on the ground I hold on to you. Feeble. Pathetic. Moronic.

I should have a diary, of your f**king desideratum. And it goes it little something like this

Friday – Drive me crazy. We fantasize. You miss me.
Saturday – You were jealous. You call me cocky. You are crazy about me.
Sunday – You said you’d call; yet here’s to another party. Hello coke!
Monday – I thought something bad happened. No words from you.
Tuesday – You made me delusional. You told me you are okay. You want to see me again. You miss me.
Wednesday – You met someone. YOU want to talk. I just don’t care. You got weird. You ask questions. Your phone got f**ked. You told me lets be ignorant. You think it’s meaningless without obsessing.

With your every worthless word, we get further away. This distance is not helping.
It’s easy to see, how dysfunctional we are. What’s more f**ked up is that I consume this. Misbehaving makes me feel like we are both in the ditch.

TODAY – You are in my blacklist. I’m done. I’m so over you. At least for today .

WISH I COULD SAY THE WORDS I WANT TO SAY TO YOU.


xoxo

ROLLO TOMASSI