Let's tie a string to it

Let's tie a string to it

Its that freaking sinking feeling again. Like I left something behind, like something is not right. That feeling at the pit of your stomach. Making me restless. Disheveled like a frenetic auditor on coke on a Sunday morning.
I didn't mean to snap at you. But nothing makes sense in my head. Especially you. You keep asking me what's wrong. I stare blankly at you, pretending to answer with that cold stare. You pushed again for an answer, a vocal one. Inviting me for another row of fights that will not even take place, let alone be resolved. I sighed. I snapped. My face tells you that something is amiss.
 

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Here's to a lovely Sunday

Here's to a lovely Sunday

Here passes another day. I'm starring at the screen. I'm wondering what's wrong and my heart is heavy. Like something is creeping inside me and I don't know what it is.
I am looking on my side to find some kind meaning, he is asleep soundly while the sun is up. Cautioning me not to make a sound or he'll flip. Grouchy.
Looking outside my window, wondering if the week's gonna give me another heartache, another temptation, another shock lines of bad news.
Sometimes I feel like I just want to be saved, even if I do not know from what or who.

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Drilling my head back to the source

Drilling my head back to the source

The noise was a form of vagaries of uncertain circumstances of my life. The knocking of the hammer followed by the deep drilling in the office on weekdays, snoring of the love ones at nights and the sound of renovation from my next door neighbour on weekends, were adding up to my aggravation.  Just like the renovation of my life, filled with much noise, that I am losing thoughts and sleep. A crazy nightmare that doesn’t make sense, predictability of that significant other that keep proving me right to the point that I am losing my sanity and changes in plans from friends due to unforeseen circumstances that wasn’t part of the overall picture. Like my ramblings, is getting out of topic, all over the place without much logic or even a point to make. It is just noise. 

I feel my mendacious nature is peeking trying to find faults with my own world. From each corner and perspective of my life, it is finding a reason to be cynical and hate. You think going to psychologist is bad, dude, even my psyche would need a 3 shrinks to go through my mind right now.

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