My exes are all over the room, hiding in corners.

Friday

My exes are all over the room, hiding in corners.

I don’t remember when was the last time I spring clean my room. Must have been five years ago, because the ghost of all my exes seems to be all around the room. In little corners, they seem to hide little memories to remind me why I hate them or love them. It’s excruciating to find yourself where you are, and walking down memory lane of where you were.



In my box of CD’s, I have found my ex’s organizer. Inside it was blank without any notes but with one memento. It was a picture of him and her. Her, that snotty little bimbo who can neither act nor model. She has been in my room for at least 3 years! WTF??


Moving on, I decided to undertake heavy-duty chores. My closet. It is overstuffed with tiny baby tees and jeans at size 24 where I can never fit into again. Yes, this is just what my shrink ordered to boost my wounded ego and self esteem. Then stuck in between piles of things I can never wear were all HIS stuffs. T-shirts from various people I’ve ever been with ugly men t-shirts, oversized white shirts and variety sizes boxers.


Then, I went through my handbag drawer and I found a bunch of torn or broken handbags. One of the content of the handbag were scattered on the floor. Staring back at me was a bunch of card and a piece of paper. I slowly unfold the paper, and read through it. Maybe it was the hormones or the emotional instability but the water works was turned on. It began with quiet sobbing, and after few paragraphs I was bawling out like a broken stereo.

An e-mail, printed in A4 – hidden in my old handbag

It’s not mushy, but it just creeps into my skin. He always has a way of doing that. It’s just things that he says, crawls in and just kind of gets me. Like when he said,

That’s me. That’s truly me. I love doing that.

Then, I started bawling by the end of paragraph one, when he said

That’s why it was great; coz both of us didn’t have to over think. It was real. I wasn’t playing pretend; we were the best of ourselves.

Then whenever in doubt, we think of how we are together, and it just works.
By this line, I was a mess!

And it made me remember when he first told me he loved me. All he said was “you are early”, and I was pudding.

Moral of the story, throw it out. IT’S GARBAGE. IT’S OVER.

You don’t want to find bits and pieces and start crying in between a pile of old clothes and broken bags. It's not a pretty picture. It's pathetic. So throw it out...