There is nothing left to grieve.

Monday

There is nothing left to grieve.

You are already gone. Then why do I feel this. You are no longer mine. Why do I hold on?




He is leaving in due time. Like a ticking clock, waiting for the moment to strike. I feel like I’m stuck on a limbo. What is that place again? Oh yeah… Purgatory. Being held back.. before even heading anyway.


Here’s the weird part. You are already gone. By now, you are away and we have no idea when you are coming back. You are away, and I am trying to adjust to letting you go. We should take this as a goodbye, so when you do go, I’ll be fine… just fine. Isn’t it selfish? You are so selfish. What the hell am I doing? You should be enjoying your freedom now, you tell me, you wouldn't.. why? So that I stay here.. waiting for you.

And yet, I feel perfidious for even thinking about anyone else. Like as if I have just kicked you in the nut, with the most devious smile, while still telling you it’s not suppose to hurt. Yes, that doesn’t make sense. None of this does. You, me, them.. none of this.


Its one of those days. Where I just don't quite get it.