Not my proudest moment

Friday

Not my proudest moment

I am not at a good state of mind.. Had too fast of drinks.. with an empty stomache... there goes my diet...

I had guys staring at me thinking of 20 different ways they could f**k me.. I had guys coming up with me telling them- its a lame attempt, or ditching them to go hang out with my friends..

I had a good day... a fun day...

But in the corner of my mind, I imagine, you were there, staring. I imagine, coming home, and you are on my bed.. telling me you are sorry. Telling me, you've been an idiot to think that I would do such a thing to you, and that no one could replace me. You held me and tell me that you understood that I lied saying I did all those,i lie admitting to all accusations just to make you happy.

I woke up in the morning, laying in bed for 15 minutes. Trying to grab any memories I have of you, to hold on to that good feeling, that I missed.

In reality you've moved on, thinking I'm a whore. Fucking that blondie Ukraine chick that you once told me was a horrible f**k.

But I still choose to live in this fantasy... why?

xoxo
Rollo Tomassi after few drinks and Beauty & Beast show