Another Day

Monday

Another Day

I was hanging out with the girls today and taking it easy after the whole crazy weekend and the LA trip. Four beautiful, (oh just let me be all but not humble today) young, 20 something girls having coffee, and talking about the messed up relationships, and how it has pretty much - be everything in our lives.

She has always been confused, thinking that she wants to marry the guy, but needs to have the fun out of her system. But when she saw the text in his phone, and when he asks for the break up, it was a bit tough for her to handle. An d although it has not sink in yet, that its over, and part of her still believes its not. She still unsure, whether she wants to still be together or be apart.

Another girl is not even having sex with her bf anymore for a year, and last two days were in the car with the boyfriend for 50 minutes without even much but a word to one another. The zest is out of the relationship, and she no longer knows what she wants. Is it right that she leaves, or should she stick around and hope for the best?

The other, is just in a messed up relationship, where she knows she shouldn’t be with him, but she could not be without him.

And then there’s me, who is just too traumatized to ever even let herself ever feel anything anymore, The last time I had sex and enjoyed myself, was when the guy treated me like a f*cking whore, and when I know it will be meaningless when I wake up the next morning. It was sick. And when I started even getting close to even needing someone, I cut them out completely. And I couldn’t help but wonder, if I was still with my ex, will the fire burn out eventually. Will we stop enjoying sex, and will we run out of conversation as well. Will I go through the same motions as I did with others. Will I eventually get bored and annoyed with him?

Is every relationship, either just be full of drama, or just plain dead?

How did we all get here?

Are we just too scared to be with someone, or be without anyone?

How come we second guess everything, and not sure of anything anymore when it comes to matters of the heart?

xoxo

Rollo Tomassi on Monday morning